Grab Happy

Howdy! I was recently working with a client discussing tempering joy… It isn't the first time I have had this discussion, it is rather commonplace actually. Many people have a hard time allowing themselves to celebrate good news, possible successes or simply enjoy the moments they have for fear of those moments being gone. Now, not getting too excited about things because you could end up disappointed is like not washing up because you are just gonna get dirty again; except that every day you get dirty without fail and you need a shower/bath… bad shit happening isn't as frequent as that. No matter how you slice it, not allowing yourself to be happy because something bad could happen is simply flawed thinking and a sign that there is a life that is fear based being lived (if we can call it that).

The bottom line is that something bad is going to happen to most of you. The first reason is your judgment around your life experiences as bad or good. It is true that most people have a good category and a bad category and place things in their lives in one of the other. The lists in these categories are not set in stone and, depending on what is going on in your life, change from time to time (which tells you that good and bad are about as reliable as a 2 year old keeping a secret). When you have a bad and a good outcome you bring probability into existence. Just like flipping a coin, you will get both sides to show up evenly if you keep flipping. The other reason something bad is going to happen is because you expect it to. You see the downside so it shows itself to you. Everything likes attention and when you give yours to something that something get's fed and grows bigger.

So now that you know something is going to happen that is the opposite of good (in your opinion) what is the reason to, when nothing bad is happening, not enjoy your life? When something isn't happening, that we don't want to happen, what is the point of focusing on it? Well, most people think that they can prepare for the bad that will happen. Let me explain, you rejecting joy will never prepare you for devastation. You cannot get around feeling sad because you never allow yourself to feel happy, life doesn't work that way. You trying to not feel bad by never feeling good doesn't make the things in life that are hard, less hard. It just makes most of your life depressing. So, since you already believe that happiness is fleeting, why not live it to its fullest when you aren't going through hell. If you are certain shit is going to hit the fan, run around getting as much joy as you can until things go south, stock pile it! Then, when they do, and for you they always do, feel sad until you don't… then be happy as all get out again.


Another way to live is to recognize that labeling things bad and good is a paradigm that isn't mandatory. When you shift your paradigm to recognize that the purpose of all your life experience is to help you grow, you let go of worrying about the next thing that will show up. You begin to look forward to your life instead of bracing for it. Your baseline becomes happiness and contentment and nothing else really seems to penetrate or bleed through for too long. But, that is only if you want to see things absolutely different.

Either way, let go of the pain that doesn't exist and when it enters your life move through it instead of holding on.

xo a