Hey! This is an appeal coming directly from my heart and soul, please, please, please stop putting yourself down, abusing yourself, telling yourself you don't deserve this or that, being your own worst critic. Please stop treating yourself like you don't matter, aren't worthy and are less than. Please stop being the perfect example for emotional and physical abuse. Please put an end to the constant and unrelenting tirade you wage against yourself daily. We are all exhausted from pushing back, resisting that voice, giving into that voice, allowing ourselves to be stifled; our light dimmed. It is no wonder why we are short and irritable with one another, we don't really have the energy to be light-hearted and easy-going when we are invalidated on a regular basis in some way.
The way that we mistreat ourselves comes in a myriad of ways. So many, in reality, that it is hard to sometimes pinpoint how it is happening. Often the best way to find out how we are treating ourselves is how we treat or think about others. Are you short with others; understanding; impatient? Do you believe that your way is the only way? Do you have rage that comes out when you are driving or other places where you feel safe from the outside world? Do you censor your thoughts? Are there things you would never allow yourself to entertain even in your head? Are you curious about yourself and others so much so that you ask questions until you can no longer drill the topic down? Are you sometimes mean or irrational? All that you project outward you direct inward, period. You can do nothing to someone else that isn't done to you. When you send out ill will you receive it as well. When you refuse to be open you close off from yourself. When you decide that there is no more than what you can see you will be blinded to so many amazing things that are just outside of your periphery. When you are mean to others you are being mean, so mean to yourself and projection creates an amazing distraction. You won't be distracted for long though. At some point you will recognize the abuse.
Additionally, the abuse also happens in the direction of holding others up to high expectations and being disappointed in them; you are doing the same thing to yourself and feel justified for the disappointment because you have a lot of shoulds in your world. When you are disappointed in another you are letting yourself down in some way and are triggered when it happens in, what most people call, reality. Disappointment is a great way to discover how you punish yourself. When you are disappointed in someone or let down or feel betrayed or believe that someone is plain wrong, you will find that you are feeling strong emotions towards yourself, most of which aren't supportive of your self-worth. I know this may sound confusing for some… I mean, what does self-worth have to do with what anyone does to you? Well… when you understand that you are deserving of all things, when you are a miracle that is fully and completely supported in an infinite number of ways without you ever having to "earn" it, you will also notice that the only time someone isn't supportive of you is when they aren't supporting themselves. When you recognize your own worth you understand when someone else doesn't… and you don't take it personally when they behave accordingly. Taking offense is a sign of lack of self-worth.
I want you to think about these questions: Who deserves love? Who deserves as much money as the universe can provide? Should some people have less than others or more? What makes someone deserving, in general? Now listen, we all can agree to this: when a child is born their very existence is enough to warrant everyone stopping to take care of them. They are deserving, worthy and there is no question about it. They don't need to earn love or do anything to be considered a miracle except to exist. Well love, life and existence isn't like the stock market where you gain or lose over time. You come into the world deserving of all, fully loved for being and you stay that way. You are still that baby that came into existence. Your lack of knowledge didn't matter when you were first born and it doesn't matter now. You lack of ability didn't take away your right to deserve and nor does it now. Just because you or someone else decided to place a judgment on this or that doesn't make you less or more deserving than others. Your being born is reason enough to hold yourself in hight esteem; to have reverence for. You are worthy, you are deserving, you are love. When you feed this truth everything else that takes away from it begins to starve. You begin to see others for their light the more you shine yours.