middletown

Ready All, Row!

"On the water, nobody can hear you scream."  ~Unknown Hiya,

When I was in college I began my rowing career.  I went to an introductory meeting after seeing a flyer.  I had been told by a sophomore that I could row without any prior experience.  She has done it and thought that it would be perfect for me after I told her that I was looking for a sport to do.  I knew that there would be something that would work for me though I was not a basketball, volley, or any other ball player.  I was tall and athletic but with no real direction to my athletic endeavors.  So, I joined the rowing team… the crew, and my career began.

By my sophomore year I had shown enough promise that I was really in a league of my own.  In the United States, at the time, in order to get noticed by the US Rowing National Team you needed to pull certain numbers on the erg (Concept II Indoor Rower).  Each month you were required to do an erg test (2000 meters during the sprint season and 5000 meters during the fall season).  Your coach would send in the scores and, fingers crossed, you might get the attention of a National Team coach.  I began sending scores in during my sophomore year.  I remember wanting coaching and not getting any (my head coach was pretty unfortunate in lots of ways).  I did my testing on my own that year.  I felt pretty alone in  it and after the summer I stopped sending my scores in and let the dream of making the team dwindle.

After I graduated I became a rowing coach.  It was fantastic.  I was so excited and ready to start molding champions.  I did just that.  I was wildly successful, especially in my early years.  I also kept rowing for myself.  One day I was approached by a coach who'd been training National Team Athlete Cindy Brooks.  She offered to coach me for free.  She said she saw potential and, if I was game, would train me.  YES!  Of course I would train and be coached!  Yippeeee!!!  I was pumped.  I didn't have a boat that was mine (I worked at Wesleyan and was paid $5300/year to coach the novices) but could use the Head Coach's boat to train in.  I had been rowing in it regularly anyway.  I would also be rowing in a double with Cindy and Cindy owned a few boats, so I was covered, for the most part.

I trained for some time and ultimately had to stop due to lack of support financially.  My numbers were great and always getting better, my dedication was unwavering, but I had to choose.  Make $ or lose $.  I was offered a coaching job at Rutgers University out of the blue.  I would be making more money than I had ever made at that time and, due to feeling overwhelmed with bills and barely evading eviction, I jumped at the offer and gave up the dream of competing on the National Level for my country.

Every time I watch the Olympics I think a little about my journey to train 4-6 hours every day.  Waking up and rowing for 3 hours, lifting for 2 or so and eating more calories daily than most people need to eat over several days.  I remember being told that I could have two out of three of these things: job-rowing-relationship, but not all three.  I had to pick.  I think about how important the ego is to get you to a point where you can compete on such a high level.  I think about love; loving something so much that you give yourself over to it completely.  I think about how lucky I am to know how that feels.

I hope you enjoy the Olympics for what it is, in my opinion:  a display of love-pure, true and unrelenting.

xo

a

"Real athletes row.  Everyone else just plays games."  ~Unknown

Parks & Recreation

Woohoo For Friday! I saw a Parks & Rec truck today and it got me thinking.  I remember when that kind of job would have been something I was open to.  The idea of driving a truck, being outside the whole day, talking to people and having someone you drive with usually, yep, that would have been appealing.  I also remember when that was the only job I thought I could actually wrangle, so there was a pang of an old desperate feeling that also crept up.  I then realized how all of those crazy ass, ridiculous jobs I have had, and in some ways hated, got me where I am today.  Seriously.  If I hadn't driven that FedEx Truck I wouldn't know that I would NEVER do that for any amount of $.  It was one of the most unfulfilling jobs I have had, except the driving training was a blast.  I LOVE driving big trucks and I love defensive driving courses.

I have worked at a store where I picked out people fruit and veggies because they were not allowed to touch them:

Customer:  I would like a bunch of bananas for this week, a pineapple for today, avocados for tomorrow, and lettuce.

Me:  Ok, Just one moment.

Then I would bag it all, ring 'em up and off they would go.

Full service produce.

The Middlesex Fruitery.

Seriously an AWFUL job.

If I were to list all of my jobs or attempted careers it would take too long and you would lose interest… so I will save it for a later blog post.  However, looking at that Parks & Rec truck today got me thinking that job, for those guys, may be a job they hate that will bring them to one they love.  A job that at some point they will be so done  with that they will refuse to ever settle again.  Maybe it is to them like the MIddlesex Fruitery job was to me, or maybe it is like my shoe shining job, exciting and fun.  You never know.

Remember that we are all where we are supposed to be.  You cannot save anyone but yourself.  I don't mean you don't offer things that are available or lend a hand if you have it to lend.  It means that there is no need to feel bad, sorry, or guilty over someone experiencing life.  You can, if you choose, put that pitying energy out there, or you can choose to put the energy out there that helps guide them to their life's purpose.  I know that all of the jobs I had have allowed me to NEVER want to be in a situation where I am not, in most ways, running my own show.  Or, at least, working in the industry that feeds my soul.

It takes most of us a long time to find our direction, only to change it repeatedly.  Sometimes it may seem like we are hitting a wall or even going in circles.  All of the set backs, switch backs and back tracks are moving you forward, whether you can see it or not.  Have faith, keep smiling and forge ahead, there is light there.

xo

a