Of Moms & Children

Hi there, I was talking to my oldest brother today when he asked me if I thought about having kids.  We hadn't talked about this before so it was a welcome discussion.  He has 5 lovely children that are seriously the smartest and cutest and most awesome kids!  I let him know that I have no desire to actually be pregnant but could see myself adopting in the future.  The only way I would really want to adopt is if I am in a relationship where that makes sense and I am not the primary parent, in all honesty.  The conversation reminded me of the number of times I had been asked if I wanted kids.  I have looked forward to getting older so that the questions would go from excitement to (after I gave my age) sadness and pity and then just silence.  I have been asked by strangers about my childless life.  Once in a grocery store a woman talked about her children and I listened.  We laughed about something having to do with parenting when she asked me if I had children.  When I told her no she looked shocked and asked why not.  I told her, "Why ruin happiness."  I believe I offended her, which was not my goal.  My goal was to let her know that I was happy with where I was, which happened to be without children.

Children are amazing.  Parenting is amazing.  It is also hard, thankless in so many ways, and not for everyone.  I truly believe we would do more good than not talking people out of having kids instead of talking them into it.  It is a lifelong career that can cause your hair to gray and give you ulcers.  Yes, children are blessings from the lord jesus christ our savior… but they are also not for everyone.  Seriously.  I have often been told, because I am great with kids, that I would make a terrific mom.  Being a great-aunt does not a great mom make.  Let's be honest.  I work out multiple times a day.  I am gone for long hours at a time.  I don't have a set schedule for food (though I need to) and I travel at the drop of a hat.  Oh, I like living like this.  So people say about my life as it is now that it would have to change.  And I say, no thank you.  I am glad to be able to move about when I want to move about.  I love taking naps when I need to and not having to be at the behest of anyone else, no matter how much I adore them.  What I would gain, from my perspective, is not tempting enough to give up what I have.

Knowing what you want is important.  Owning what you want is more so.  I know that I LOVE kids and they LOVE me.  I also love to see them head home to their parents.  I remember that my biological clock ticked once or twice in my life.  Both times I observed the tick tock and let the feeling run its course.  It passed pretty quick and I went on about my life.  It is amazing how strong our biology is.  I support parents and love that there are people willing to give up so much to raise the little buggers and, in turn, get so much back.  I believe that parents need support.  I believe that the children are our future, etc., etc.  I also believe that I am here to do something else; parenting a child is not my calling at the moment.  I believe I am doing what I am supposed to and, as I support those who are called to raise children, I welcome support around my decision not to.

Enjoy where we all are, respect each other's decision to be there and live your life (if you want to) :)