Hi there, In the moment that you feel lost you can be found again. When you relinquish control of knowing, of what will, should, could happen, you find that space of what is. In this you can find freedom that exists only when you accept each and every detail of each and every moment. It is not something that we learn to do, we do it from birth, we actually have it taught out of us. We get told to look back and look ahead and rarely do we get told to be where you are… sit in it and enjoy each breath. If you do that for your family, bravo… it is a gift and a rare occurrence.
In our society the things that are imaginary take front and center. From having holiday cards out in September to candy canes right after Halloween. We have to prepare for our future… college funds, 401k's, etc. We set goals based on a certain future when the two words together sound ridiculous to me… there is NOTHING certain about the future. We create it as we go, though we keep on repeating what we know, instead of creating something new. We are asked to tell others what we did over the weekend, last year, when we were kids. Basically most conversation is built around things we cannot put a finger on anymore… things we can distort and things that aren't happening right now. We focus so aggressively on the past or looking forward that we rarely see what is happening for us right now.
I used to run to audiobooks… I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now some years ago and trying to be ok with my situation (working at SUNY Buffalo for a verbally abusive Head Coach). I kept having to go back to the part where he told me to just observe my thoughts. Don't judge them, just allow them to happen without diving in and joining the noise. I listened to it over ad over and then turned it off. Then, I practiced. I would run and just pay attention to each breath, each flower I saw, each step I took. My breathing became easier. The noise became quieter. I became more empowered and finally left that crazy place. When you are in your moments you can see where you are and what is happening for you. When you are in your moments you can change them.