All By Myself

Happy Weekend!!! I have a busy life interacting with many people on a daily basis.  On most days I interact with more than 70 people directly.   If I am not teaching, training, or counseling I am working on ways to be a better teacher, trainer or counselor.  I know, after many years of working in service, that my time alone allows me to be a better person for myself and others.  When I am not getting it I am irritable, impatient, and stressed.  Nurturing the relationship I have with myself is the most important responsibility I have.

Whether you are a parent, partner, sibling, co-worker, or friend, spending time away from those you love will actually strengthen the connection you have with them for a variety of reasons:

First, time alone gives you time to get to know you, outside of being connected to someone.  Who are you with no one around?  What things do you like to do if you are alone?  What food do you want to eat, movie to watch, book to read, thought to think, energy to emit?  How do you exist in the world independent (seemingly) of others?  When you know more about yourself you are better able to communicate who you are to others.

Second when you have time by yourself you become aware of your inner world.  You may begin to see where you are neglecting what you actually want to do in order to serve others.  When you neglect yourself everyone loses.  To be in a great relationship you need to first have a great relationship with yourself.  To have a great relationship with yourself you actually need to be with yourself, alone, sometimes.  Make it a priority, see how your other relationships improve.

Third, you may find that you have a hard time being alone.  This is information.  You may discover that you use others to distract from alone time so you don't have to deal with any number of things that you may possibly be avoiding.  Self-discovery is one of the benefits of alone time.  Weeding out thoughts, ideas, and feelings about yourself.  You may not enjoy it in the beginning, but the pay-off is priceless.

Relationships are the best way to grow and learn about yourself.  I truly believe this.  However, don't forget that your first relationship is with yourself.  It is the one that lasts the longest, is the most consistent, and the only one you couldn't live without.

Here is to a happy partnership with yourself!