"Happiness happens when your consciousness is not dominated by addictions and demands--and you experience life as a parade of preferences" ~Ken Keyes, Jr. We tend to believe that our way is the way and that anyone doing it differently is wrong. Our addiction to how we do things (and that is what it is) tends to lead us down a road of struggle, conflict, unease and unhappiness. When you need something to be a certain way there isn't much space for it to be different and for you to be ok. How many times do you get what you need when dealing with people who aren't you? How often are you feeling offended that your needs aren't being met? Whose responsibility is it to meet your needs?
Where does love come into play? How do you love others when you want them to be other than what they are? When you aren't ok with what is, what's happening for you? Generally your emotional programming is being disturbed when the external world doesn't conform to your internal programming/conditioning. When you let go of needing or being addicted to having things be a certain way you begin to see things as they are and simply, that they are. You begin to see that we are all doing what we need to be doing, regardless of your own values and beliefs. You begin to see how we are all creating the world we live in, whether it be based on acceptance, love, or addictions.
Where can you let go of the need to control what other people do or do not do? How can you find the love and acceptance for yourself and then let that spill out to others? How can preferences replace needs in your world?
Work from the inside out. :)