Fear Not 1.16.13


"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."  ~Mark Twain

Fear is so fucking annoying.  Excuse my french.  It paralyzes some and pushes others into re-action like their asses were on fire.  Look, I feel like cursing so I am gonna litter this blog with words that emphasize what it is I am trying to convey.  Deal with it.  Fear will eat you for dinner and then look around for seconds.  Fear will take an otherwise lovely moment and jack it up.  Fear will make you think that something isn't what it is.  Fear takes away all joy, all contentment, all ease... fear is the opposite of love.

What are you afraid of?  For most of us it is that we aren't lovable.  Seriously.  Admit it.  You are afraid that something is wrong with you.  That you are not worth someone else risking everything for, loving with their whole being and holding onto you no matter what.  Do you believe you are worth unconditional love?  Be honest.  Do you have shame or judgement around your choices, your past, your thoughts, your desires?  If you are reading this and saying, "hah, I am soooo confident that I am the cat's meow I just let my cat do all the talking", you are full of it.  We all have our issues around feeling worthy.  Some just way less than others.  Maybe you feel that someone should love you because you are the bomb diggity.  Maybe that isn't where you feel less than.  Maybe you feel less than in your area of occupation, your fitness, your financial prowess.  Maybe you don't feel deserving of having what you need or experiencing what you want.  Your fear could be that of success or of leaving a zone that has been comfortable most of your life.  Face it folks, fear has some part of you in a choke hold.

So, what the hell do we do about it?  You know, the truth of the matter is fear creeps up when you least expect it.  It is insidious and masks itself as 'normalcy."  Fear becomes our everyday way of being.  So you are going to need to figure out where you have shame, judgment, limitations… you are going to need to a be a love sleuth.  Find out where love resides and is in charge within you.  Do you approach your successes with love or shame?  Do you feel deserving of things or do you try to downplay your success.  Do you self-sabotage????  (It's a trick question, we all do, just an FYI).  Once you have done a thorough assessment (with or without the help of a coach or friend or what-have-you) of the areas where love is in charge and where fear has a foot-hold, you can begin to steadily push fear out-of-the-way and let love rule.  It is a sometimes slow process but it is worth it… because you are.

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson