How long do you stick it out? This is a question that I am posed often and pose myself. There is no right or wrong answer. The real question is what are you getting out of the situation you are continuing to experience? Why are you motivated to stay and not leave? We all know someone who is in a situation we feel should be elsewhere. We all have seen someone stay in a relationship or a job that seemingly wasn't what they needed or wanted yet they couldn't leave it. For those in the situation and those observing, this dance is sometimes infuriating and at other times simply dumbfounding… but there is always a reason.
We don't do anything we get nothing out of. We are all self-serving by nature. It isn't a judgment at all, for being self-serving is natural, like breathing. Nature has built us so that we need each other in ways that won't allow us to discard one another. We all need to feel loved by others, we need touch, we need companionship on various levels, we need to connect. Our figuring out ways to serve ourselves serves others and vice versa. It is a wonderful intertwining of things that is harmonious and lovely, in my opinion. When we are in a relationship that seems to be unhealthy or unsatisfying and we don't have to gumption or impetus to leave it is worth looking at a bit deeper. We all fulfill a purpose. The universe is like a bunch of wheels and cogs and we all serve an integral part in making things go. Including the relationships between and amongst everyone. They are like bigger cogs in bigger wheels. We may not be able, from the outside to figure out why someone would stay in a situation that seems like a lose, lose… but know that when they stay, they are staying on purpose.
When we blame this or that on why we lose sight of the power of the individual's soul choice. We usually bring up someone not getting enough love as a child, someone being hurt deeply by another so now they cannot open up, etc., etc., etc. Now, I am not saying that these things don't play a role in the choices that we make. But if it were A+B=C we would see everyone who was neglected as a child having difficulty trusting. It just isn't the case. There is much more to all of us than our past… there are a lot more reasons we do what we do than it being learned from our parents. Where we are is a choice, whether it is conscious or not. Somewhere we decide to do a, b or c. I know that this is not fun to think about because we have labeled certain things as good and others as bad. And, if you have ever had "bad" things happen you might be questioning why anyone would ask for that or choose that. I appreciate taking things literally, really… but this isn't about choosing to be raped, or choosing to be neglected… it might, instead, be choosing to overcome something that is life altering. Or, it could be choosing to know what it is like to feel broken in order to connect with others. If you are to believe you have a soul then you may begin to see how that soul has plans for you that you aren't completely cognizant of.
When we see people choosing to stay in anything that seems to be "wrong" we are ignoring that they are there for a reason. The reason may be to accept the help of others, in order to get out of the "bad situation" this may the only way to do it. So I am not going to say to you, "no, don't help those in situations that you deem shitty." I am saying, when you do help, don't judge. Know that they are where they need to be, you are where you need to be and the wheels are turning at the exact right speed, giving you and everyone else the exact message we all need. When we have received the message loud and clear the wheels shift…