I can be blunt. I am blunt. I am not from Seattle after all. I like to say what I mean and totally mean what I say. I fear that I am getting soft on those fronts the longer I live in the Pacific Northwest. But I must've needed to get a little softer. I feel like it is all for a reason. I love it here. I still tend to rattle people with my ability to just get to the point, but it saves time and I like saving time. I also like wasting time, and watching TV and reading and walking and cycling and just being on my own or with others. I am who I am.
There were times when I wanted to try to be more this or more that. Those attempts lasted about 5 minutes each. I realized quickly that I am best as Aina Ifetayo Oyewole-Williams as she is in this moment. Doing anything else is simply wasting the gift that she is. So both times I tried being someone I wasn't I gave up. Quitting was the best solution in those situations. I know that I am blessed. I know that feeling like being myself is the bestest idea in the entire world is not how many of us feels. Many of us feel like we aren't enough, worthy, exciting, fun or attractive inside and out. I know that this is a struggle for the masses. Searching for ourselves, never happy with what we find… feeling like there is something missing.
Nothing is missing per se. Maybe there is a shift that needs shifting, a viewpoint that needs viewing, a breath that needs breathing. Nothing is missing. We are all parts of the whole, complete in ourselves and each other. When we approach our lives as broken or needing fixing we totally degrade the perfection that we are. The gifts that we have to share become burdensome or unloved because they aren't embodied in the person we want to be. So they get ignored, taken for granted or just not seen as gifts. The greatest thing you can do in this life is accept who you are. Even if it is someone who is trying to figure out who they are, or someone who doesn't want to know who they are. There is a secret to acceptance that I will tell you now.
When you become fully yourself the rest is easy. When you accept who you are and give up trying to be more, less, different you experience joy more often than not. You are not full of angst, longing, desperation, sadness. You are driven from a different source. You want more in a way that isn't about accumulating, it is about creating, about showing the beauty that you have been brought here to give, experience and enjoy. Be yourself, it is what you are best at… and you look really good doing it. Seriously.