"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." ~Joseph Campbell Howdy!
Today I had a number of conversations around ending relationships. Specifically friendships. Many of the discussions were around having difficulty staying grounded while being around someone who was very negative or 'bitchy' as it were. Other conversations were around people who had a wee bit too much cray cray going on. Either way the conversations were all interesting and ones that I could totally relate to. I have broken up with quite a few friends in my day. The reasons range from friends wanting to be more than friends, friends becoming obsessed, friends flipping out and being co-dependent to friends being über negative. In all cases I have communicated my issues with the friendship as best I could and moved on. I am a believer of healthy beginnings and healthy endings.
I know that my ability to choose to end a relationship because of compatibility would be understood if the relationship was of an intimate nature. However, the fact that I do the same for friendships has come as a shock for some. I have been accused of not valuing relationships because I am ok with them ending. I feel that everyone has a right to his or her opinion and I have the right to ignore those opinions and go on living my life as I see fit. I see people often holding onto relationships because there is a history and they feel obligated. I am not sure how this is serving anyone to be with someone because you feel like you have to. I truly believe that when you let go of things you don't use, what you need in your world has the space to come to you. I believe that everyone has the right to choose who they let in their life and for how long. Not all relationships get better with time. As you grow so do others. Not everyone grows in the same direction or in a way that enhances or supports the growth of another.
What would be the point to stay in a relationship, friendship or otherwise, that isn't serving your ideal self? When is it time to draw the line and end a friendship that takes more than it gives? I know that I have never doubted an ending even if I missed a part of the history that I shared with that ex-friend. Good relationships don't end. I have also become friends with people who I once cut out or who had cut me out. Sometimes distance, endings, can bring you towards one another in a smarter, healthier way. Much more so than hanging on for dear life when the last breath was taken long ago.
"Every exit is an entry somewhere." ~Tom Stoppard