"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go." ~Dr. Seuss Howdy!
So many of us have no idea who we are or what we want. I have always had direction, even when it seemed like I was going in a million different directions. Faith that I was exactly where I needed to be made it easy to accept my moments when I was in them. Not everyone is ok with where they are and often haven't a clue about how to move on from it.
Being nosy, meddling, violating other folks' boundaries, overeating, under-eating, drugs, other addictions are signs that there is a lack of direction (as well as self-love) for some. Being directionless can lead to relationships (with people/substances/things) being about finding that purpose, that true north in someone/something else. It is easy to use relationships to numb out. They take so much time and energy, they take focus and attention. Many times, due to a lack of direction, relationships become the point or focus of their world and they may begin to feel like they have the right to others' in ways that are inappropriate and lacking boundaries. This ownership of those outside of their own person is evidence of the lack of ownership they feel internally. Many people use relationships to avoid self growth or to dodge delving into their own wants needs. The judgement can be so paralyzing, in fact, that they stop asking what it is they want or need… if they ever did in the first place.
Often we are judged for wanting something, for having a direct goal. Many times we are told that what we want is wrong, bad, not a good idea, etc. For those who believe that the judgements are true they can be devastating. Many people without a true north find some way to numb out, either by using work, drugs, sex, food, or some other form of abuse that takes lots of time and focus off of what is actually happening for them. They are desperately seeking their own connection to themselves by connecting to everything but. I have seen religion undermining personal growth many times. Some religions can push people off of knowing their center, being connected to their internal knowing, and force them to look to something outside of themselves for direction, for purpose. When you lose your true north you spend much of the time trying to find it in any way you can. This can be a very dangerous search.
If you are finding that you haven't a clue who or where you are, call 911, amnesia may be the culprit. If it isn't that extreme you may need to spend some time answering the questions:
What do I want right now???
How do I want to life my life?
Do I deserve to have direction?
What makes me smile, giddy, happy?
You have all the answers you need. Enjoy yourself!
"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction." ~John F. Kennedy