Thought Patterns

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Hey there, So much of our world is made up, a response to programming, not purposeful or deliberate. At the same time there are very real manipulations and calculations that are happening all of the time. To me there is a lot of confusion, frustration and circuitous bullshit. Humans make life so much more complicated than it needs to be and, in many ways, refuse to take a route that is simple and loving because it isn't what they have been doing regularly. It boggles the mind, or at least mine, sometimes; why in the world would we go toward something we know to not work because it is already in place instead of doing something different, trying something new? We care more about being safe than about being magical and wondrous and smart; really? We literally refuse to challenge ways of doing things because the new ones haven't been done. This is why it takes so much energy to advance; it is truly like pushing a snowball up a snow covered mountain. As the snowball increases in size (change) the snowball gets larger and larger (resistance to that change).

We have a 5 day 40hr/wk workweek, which is actually more like 50-60 hours sometimes including a commute. We generally live beyond our means, borrowing things on credit only to then get farther and farther into debt; which is owing imaginary money, since you haven't made it yet. We believe that finding a relationship, getting married (and going farther into debt), buying a house (even farther into debt) and having kids is how we are meant to do things. One or both parents are doing the 40-60 hour/week thing and the kids are wherever the hell you put kids during the day, paying whatever the costs. Sounds like a roadmap to hell, if you ask me. At no point are we actually asking ourselves if these things, choices, the best for our spirit, joy, health and happiness. We are so conditioned to do what was done before that most of us don't even really ask ourselves if what we want is what is expected. What if we didn't want what others have already done? What if the way it has evolved needs evolving? Isn't that how development happens… things change? The amazing part of all of this, for me, is that most people are afraid of what they really want.

We get into relationships blindly repeating previous (failed) relationships. There is a reason they didn't last, why in the hell are you going about finding a new one in the same way you found the last one? We set up our lives in the same way others have egotistically believing that, though we have huge incidents of depression and disease in our culture, we will do it right and it will turn out differently. You know what they say about doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result? Insanity I say. We have so many examples of how things don't work yet we change our minds to believe that how we age is normal and having mid-life crisis are a matter of time; some of us even believe that getting a disease just "runs in the family" and that there is "nothing we can do about it." If we can believe in things that haven't happened yet in that way, why not believe in the stuff we want to happen? We fail to take a step back and ask how we can do it differently or avoid that altogether. We believe that misery is just a part of the equation and we hope we dodge the bullet though we are standing in front of the target, like everyone else.

Wake up. Please. Wake up and see the infinite choices that have yet to be tapped. Wake up to the idea that there are at least as many ways of doing things as there are people on the planet. There are no limits that are set for us, only those we set for ourselves. Your life is a blank canvas and everyday you choose to paint someone else's art on your life. The only thing that will fit you perfectly is what you create for yourself. Let go of the need (conditioning) to fit in, be like everyone else and follow in the footsteps… we aren't zebras trying to dodge lions. We don't need to blend in to survive. That is the beauty of this human experience, we can choose what that experience is. What a gift, don't waste it.

zebras
zebras

xo a

Forget To Remember

Hiya!! What was your childhood like? What situations do you recall the most? Do you consider these things to be fact? Do you call this memory up often? Do you think it changes over time? It does. Memory is very faulty… our memories are a construction of our past, not a clone of it. What seems to be a single memory of say, a whisk, is actually your brain retrieving the name of the object, the shape, it's function, the object performing it's function. Basically, depending on your ideas about a whisk (plastic or metal) your history of a whisk (used for batter or for being battered) and desire for a whisk (wanting one that is flat or 3-D) your memory of a whisk can and does change. You may not be recalling the whisk from the past but creating a whisk for the present based on your feelings, ideas, desires and judgments. However, if you were to be asked if you remembered a conversation you had with friends the night before you might be someone who would swear that they remembered, and you would be insulted if someone said that your memory was fallible at best. We put a lot of stock in our memories, especially ones that we have used to build the idea of ourselves on.

What does knowing that we recreate our past by pulling what sticks out to us and then adding it to our judgments and so forth make you think? What if the stories of the past weren't really that factual? What if large chunks of memory were false? You probably have stories that you have been telling yourself that you believe to be the way it was. You may have based life decisions on these stories. You might even describe your personality in reference to these stories being the reason you behave certain ways. Correct? Do these stories support your positive movement forward or do they hinder you in some way? Are you harboring ill will or judgment against someone for doing something in the distant past that you keep "remembering" so you won't "forget"? Maybe the energy we spend recreating our past could best be spent creating our future.

What if you let go of the stories you hold onto as truth? Recognize that you can't be sure of what happened and it isn't happening now so move on. Holding onto things in the past does not ensure you are on firm ground in the present; it ensures you don't move on. It is going to be a good thing for you to realize that you can, since you do anyway, create the history for yourself that supports growth, love and learning. You can remember yourself into who you are becoming. You can decide to pick out different pieces of your past and hold onto those if they are conducive to movement in the way you desire it. We have unlimited power and potential that we smother aggressively moment to moment with doubt, uncertainty and false ideas of ourselves, each other and the world around us. Begin to think that all is possible, all is love and always was… your history will become your training for your unbelievably magnificent future.

 future and past

future and past

xo a

Grab Happy

Howdy! I was recently working with a client discussing tempering joy… It isn't the first time I have had this discussion, it is rather commonplace actually. Many people have a hard time allowing themselves to celebrate good news, possible successes or simply enjoy the moments they have for fear of those moments being gone. Now, not getting too excited about things because you could end up disappointed is like not washing up because you are just gonna get dirty again; except that every day you get dirty without fail and you need a shower/bath… bad shit happening isn't as frequent as that. No matter how you slice it, not allowing yourself to be happy because something bad could happen is simply flawed thinking and a sign that there is a life that is fear based being lived (if we can call it that).

The bottom line is that something bad is going to happen to most of you. The first reason is your judgment around your life experiences as bad or good. It is true that most people have a good category and a bad category and place things in their lives in one of the other. The lists in these categories are not set in stone and, depending on what is going on in your life, change from time to time (which tells you that good and bad are about as reliable as a 2 year old keeping a secret). When you have a bad and a good outcome you bring probability into existence. Just like flipping a coin, you will get both sides to show up evenly if you keep flipping. The other reason something bad is going to happen is because you expect it to. You see the downside so it shows itself to you. Everything likes attention and when you give yours to something that something get's fed and grows bigger.

So now that you know something is going to happen that is the opposite of good (in your opinion) what is the reason to, when nothing bad is happening, not enjoy your life? When something isn't happening, that we don't want to happen, what is the point of focusing on it? Well, most people think that they can prepare for the bad that will happen. Let me explain, you rejecting joy will never prepare you for devastation. You cannot get around feeling sad because you never allow yourself to feel happy, life doesn't work that way. You trying to not feel bad by never feeling good doesn't make the things in life that are hard, less hard. It just makes most of your life depressing. So, since you already believe that happiness is fleeting, why not live it to its fullest when you aren't going through hell. If you are certain shit is going to hit the fan, run around getting as much joy as you can until things go south, stock pile it! Then, when they do, and for you they always do, feel sad until you don't… then be happy as all get out again.

happy_place
happy_place

Another way to live is to recognize that labeling things bad and good is a paradigm that isn't mandatory. When you shift your paradigm to recognize that the purpose of all your life experience is to help you grow, you let go of worrying about the next thing that will show up. You begin to look forward to your life instead of bracing for it. Your baseline becomes happiness and contentment and nothing else really seems to penetrate or bleed through for too long. But, that is only if you want to see things absolutely different.

Either way, let go of the pain that doesn't exist and when it enters your life move through it instead of holding on.

xo a

Fear of Flying

Hi! When you let go of the idea that you will be safe if you have a relationship with someone who understands you, who gets you; when you stop worrying about things that are not happening right now; when you remember that all of this is temporary fear pops up and then bounces away. It is the exact opposite of what happens for those who believe that a relationship will fulfill them, "knowing" will calm them or that what they hold onto will last forever; for those people, fear consumes them. The notion that there is safety, security and fulfillment in all the things that truly are temporary, whether you consciously get it or not, would bring up fear because there is no truth to it. We grab onto one another hoping that in the other we will find ground and stop the fall. What we don't understand is that the one we are holding onto is falling also and couldn't stop your internal struggle no matter how much they wanted to. You are the one who can catch you, make you feel secure and loved fully. You are your savior.

We live in a world where most things are unknown yet we try our best to control all. We put rules on everything in order to gain some semblance of being the boss of all. Then life happens, people leave, die, things end, begin, magic happens. We are so set in believing that we KNOW things that we call anything that goes outside of what we have arbitrarily decided could happen, unexplainable, not true, made up, fantasy, conspiracy or some other such definition that usually has a negative connotation. We actually chastise people who refuse to think like the rest of the society we are in. It is understandable then that deep down we are struggling within this box that we are in. Boxes are cramped and somewhere in our soul we see the expansiveness of existence. We know that the world is bigger than the box but because we don't know what lies outside of it, we freak the f*ck out and basically refuse to leave the 'safety' of it. The box says that if you do certain things then certain things will happen. Well, there may be a possibility that those things are going to happen but there is a possibility that other things would happen too. The world is mysterious, exciting and surprising.

Letting go of our illusion of security is a process for most. You can practice it by doing things that challenge you in various ways. You can do it by changing your language around love, relationships, and the world. You can let go of the idea of security by recognizing that the only control that you have is over you and how you respond to your world… Or you can learn through the fact that the world will stop at nothing to get you to see it. The world, universe, will take things away, bring things in, create chaos and then bring order whether you want it or not. The universe will give you opportunity after opportunity to learn how to let go of our attachments. What you call falling I call flying. When you open up to possibility, to understanding that it is the moment that is precious, not the imagined future, you can stop the drop and begin to enjoy the journey. It is your choice to bury your head or spread your wings.

flyowl
flyowl

xo a

Honestly

Hello, Honesty, it is sometimes the best policy.  Sometimes the pressure to be honest leaves people lying to themselves.  If you just don't admit what is happening then you aren't lying, right?  What if honesty isn't the best policy in the way we have been using it.  How about it being the best policy for you to be honest with yourself, to own what is happening for you in order for you to figure out how to live an authentic life without the pressure or sway of the judgment, fear or obligation of others.  So much of what you think you want is based on what you think someone else will think/feel.  We curb our behavior to fit into what is expected of us based on past teachings and judgments.  This censorship goes so deep that we often don't allow in a thought that goes against these expectations; and if we do, we make ourselves pay with abusive condemning language.

What you really want, really, really want, is personal.  You don't ever have to tell anyone anything actually.  Now for you to get what you want speaking it aloud is a pertinent step, along with being open for it and wiling to work.  Sharing what you want, however, is up to you regardless or what it is.  Right and wrong have nothing to do with whether or not you are ready to speak your needs, desires, dreams, etc.  When you can get past this notion of good, bad, right wrong, should or should not you can get to what is.  What is true for you, what is real for you, what you may honestly, truthfully want in your life or want out of your life is something that isn't really held well in the hands of others.  Not to say that you cannot find others to hear or listen in order to reflect back to you what you are saying; it is often the case that we can fail to understand what we are really saying when we never say it.   The trick is to find someone who can truly reflect what you are saying without interjecting their own beliefs, judgments and expectations all over it.

Start with getting reacquainted with you, your deepest self.  In all honesty you may never have truly met you.  We start of being told that we are limited by societal and familial expectations.  So get to know you, really know you without putting a judgment on what you are thinking or wanting.  There are clues to knowing you aren't being honest to yourself which include a general uneasiness in your life; an undercurrent of melancholy.  You may never have mentioned it to anyone and you may be great at pretending everything is ok, but when you have little moments where you want to let go or give up pay attention… your soul is speaking.  Another clue is when you hate everything and make no bones about it.  You are just grumpy, irritable and irritated.  If joy isn't your default you have some opening up to do with yourself.  There is no doubt about it.

Even if you aren't sure what to do when you know what your really want, at least you won't be surprised by your behavior and can, in some ways, prepare for the choices you will make on down the line.

5souls

xo

a

Working It Out

HI there! Working out is a wonderful things, or can be. It is also a practice of patience and faith. Results aren't immediate when you begin your journey to fitness; the road is also an arduous one. The thing about getting strong and healthy is that you never regret it, you never ever look back on your less fit self and think that you made a mistake moving beyond that. When you are not at your ideal weight, health or mental state it can be difficult to imagine what life is like to be absolutely well, it may not be something you believe is a possibility. The universe is possibility. It is expanding right now, creating more and new and different. You are the same, creating something from nothing on a regular basis. You are as creative and powerful as the universe, in your own way. You can take your body and your mental/emotional state and get them to be rock solid if you choose to. The choice is yours, and it is a choice.

greattostart

Making the decision to change your life happens when you can imagine loving something more than where you are at the moment. When you decide you no longer want to be where you are you will find somewhere to go. If that place, the place that resonates with you, is a stronger, fitter, healthier you then you will make those things your reality. When you want it you will not stop to get it. To become healthy, persistence is mandated behavior. Persistence assures that even when the going gets tough you will continue going forward, pushing through, not quitting. Fitness isn't handed to anyone, it is worked towards and for most it is something that you have really commit to in order for it to override all of the habits that got you to the point where you weren't healthy. The lifestyle that supports illness, obesity, unhealthy or unsupportive thinking, toxicity and depression cannot be maintained if you plan on creating an environment where none of those past ways will thrive. It doesn't matter if it is about a relationship with a lover that is abusive or with yourself, if you want something to change, you must start (and end) with YOU.

You may need to start small, as it can be overwhelming letting go of habits that have seemingly become a part of you. You just need to consistently begin to take things away that you know aren't supporting your health and well-being while you add things that do. People, places or things all need to be reviewed when you are changing your life or simply living. Keeping up with how your world is working for you isn't just a good idea but a mandatory behavior for those who maintain their health and wellbeing. On top of clearing out your emotional/energetic space you will need to move your body, aggressively. Movement not only creates change, it stimulates growth in ways you aren't able to understand until you do it. You aren't the one that won't make it. You aren't the one who won't see results with hard work. Once you recognize that you, like everyone else, can have what you want and that the only thing in your way is your attitude, you will be a lot better off.

Working out is wonderful, it is… it brings you to yourself in ways you didn't know you could approach. You learn about your feelings, your judgments, your desires. You learn that it is all about perspective and that yours can be whatever you choose.

xo a

If You Want It

Hi there, If you want to do something do it… you don't have to be perfect at it or know what you are doing, really… just do it. If you want to write, for example, then write. Write your dreams, write your stories, write your hopes and write your fears. Write about other people, write about yourself, make up stories and speak your facts. If you want to dance, dance… everyday. Put music on, move your body, keep moving your body. Dance every chance you get. If you want to sing, sing in the shower, in your car, living room or kitchen. Sing when you are sad, sing when you are happy, sing when you are walking down the street. Sing when you are working out, sing when you are chillin. If you want to do something you don't yet know how to, you are going to have to 'just do it' as they say.

We hesitate, we come up with reasons why we cannot start something now, we lie, we manipulate and we become dictated by our fears. Our fears consist of not being good at what we are learning to do, not being good at what we are learning to do and oh, yes, not being good at it yet. Ok, so now that you know what you are afraid of, do it anyway. You most likely won't be good at it until you practice whatever you are learning, over and over again. Part of being new at something is making mistakes. Those mistakes you make early on are the building blocks of mastery which you will reach later if you keep on practicing. We also miss out of living the life of our dreams because of a lack of faith. We sometimes believe that things are too good to be true and/or we don't deserve all the great things. Instead of giving you examples of why those ideas are loads of sh*t, I will just tell you, those ideas are loads of sh*t. You deserve the abundance that is available to us all, no doubt about it.

The biggest hurdle to achieving anything is doing it where you are now; not waiting for the right time to strike. If you want it go get it. I remember wanting to write, for years. The second biggest hurdle to achieving what you dream of, practicing what you what you dream of doing, all of the time. Behave like you really want to know, like you really want to learn. No more excuses, get going, have at it. You are wasting time doing things that aren't your dream if you know what you want and aren't running it down. If you aren't sure about your dreams or have been, up to this point, afraid of voicing them, let that go. Put words to your desires and then put action to those words. Yours is a life that is waiting to be lived.

ocean_dreams

xo

a

Kidding

Hi there, One of the reasons I enjoy speaking to children so much is that they are so much easier to talk to, share ideas with, create worlds with.  They dream, they speak their dreams, they sing, dance and have fun for no reason at all.  They laugh easily, make jokes that aren't funny but end up being hilarious because they just enjoy the ridiculousness of it all and make friends easily.  They are far from innocent but they believe what they cannot see because they know that there is so much more… they feel their way through the world and acknowledge that they don't know when they don't know.  They are forever curious.

The older I get the more I enjoy being around children or those who are in the winter of their life for a few reasons.  Old people don't always give a rat's ass about what others think anymore and kids certainly don't.  Somewhere in the middle we get freaked the f*ck out about each and every move we make.  We fear the unknown, we don't dance without being drunk, we second guess our every thought and move.  It is exhausting to think about how much grief each grown-up give themselves for not being perfect.  At what point were we supposed to master perfection?  When were we supposed to learn it all?  We get jobs that pay us and we get set in a lifestyle and we forget what it was like to just be happy.  No one thing needed to happen to be happy, we could just see what is unseen, the fairies, the beauty of the world.  We forget to sing songs into existence and dance to rhythms that only we can hear.  We stop being open to someone who we are drawn to.

Don't wait until you have grown out of the fear and into your later years to regain your joy.  Do the things that are scary, be new at something again.  Bring back that feeling of wonder… live your life like you are in charge because you are.  Know that you cannot make a wrong move if you are learning from every step.  Life isn't about planning and waiting.  Life isn't about pretending to be something you aren't.  Life isn't about competing and comparing.  Life, when you are truly living is scary and thrilling and surprising and rarely, if ever, boring.  Dream again; dream BIG then do what you have to in order to realize that dream.  You have a life to live… it is short, really, and it is worth the risk of failure in order to risk living your dreams.  The tradeoff is not even close.  Nothing beats doing what you truly want to do.  Kids know this… when did you forget?

kidsplay

xo

a

Choices

Hi there, You will be ok.  If you push harder, sweat more, sleep less and go farther you will survive.  We have such a distorted idea of what we are capable of.  If you want to be successful, if you want to reach a goal you are going to need to suck it up and go for it.  Wake up.  WAKE UP!!!!  When things go wrong you figure out how to manage your life around trying to get them to go right… right?  What if you controlled what you could control… like movement, thoughts and behavior.  What if you created habits that supported a lifestyle that supports life?  What if you stopped doing things that sucked energy; things that don't feed your soul, healed your body and broadened your mind?  Do you know what is possible, do you know where your limit is?

I can tell you that you don't know your limits unless you have already figured out how to fly; to just elevate like a ghost.  If you haven't gotten to that point yet you are still at the "I have no f*ing idea what my potential is" point.  And… if you do know how to fly then you understand that we are limitless.  If you decide to work at something with drive, determination, unrelenting discipline you will master it.  You are not limited by who your mom or your dad is, what your bloodline says, or what anyone else in your family has or has not done.  You are only held back by your beliefs; your believing that you are limitless limits you.  Your believing that your family history determines your future is unbelievably damaging to your journey towards flight.  If you want to be a dancer, dance.  If you want to be a writer, write.  If you want to be an amazing lover, love, communicate, practice.  Whatever you see as amazing in someone else you can be too.  Seriously.

I want to be stronger, faster, fitter.  I work at it daily.  I want to be the best DJ that I have heard of.  I work at it daily.  I want to be a proficient, consistent and relevant writer.  I write everyday.  When you want something you need to go after it.  When you see someone living a dream that you wouldn't mind living, at least your version of it, work for it.  When you want to bring something into your world or take something out, make the decision.  That is the secret.  Deciding to do something different, something more, something daring and something you never dared to do will automatically make it a possibility.

infinity-art

Sometimes you just have to make a choice.  Make one that scares you, that takes you farther than you are presently, that challenges your very idea of who you are or ever could be.  Then watch the magic happen, while you sweat your ass off going after it.

xo

a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.

 This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Admiration.

Music… I breathe it.

Commitment.

Industrial Fans.

Coach Aina Body Camp - http://coachaina.com/body-camp/ 

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

It is not enough to know something intellectually.  Our intellect is limited, so very limited.  We can read books, we can have conversations, write poetry, blogs and books but until you live your ideas, your words, your thoughts all of that intellect is just smoke.  Poof, it can go in an instant, and often does, when life throws us a curve ball.  I have seen all sorts of people espouse love, joy, and self-fulfilling prophecy talk only to be handed a dramatic situation and fall apart from top to bottom.  I have seen the philosophy of man become a song and dance routine when life becomes a bit too real.  It is time to live differently, not just speak differently.  It is time to own your power instead of giving it away.

Saying you understand manifesting and then saying shitty things to yourself is counterproductive, unless what you really want are shitty things.  Knowing, intellectually, that things happen for a reason and then refusing to see the benefit of all things in your life, including losing your job, a loved one, money, having an accident, breaking up with someone, etc. is a sure way to be in conflict with the universe and yourself.  This may be hard for those who feel that there is a right and a wrong and that it is wrong to expect grace in situations that are difficult, or expect composure when life is hard.  How about looking at it like this, life IS.  That is all.  It happens all the time in every way.  We put judgment on it and say it is difficult when what is actually happening is we aren't trusting that this is what we need in order to learn, grow, blossom and know.  Imagine actually living the words "things happen for a reason."  Imagine having that be a daily acceptance, a moment to moment understanding, a belief, your truth.

You can have a different life without anything outside of you changing.  You can have a more purposeful existence without ever asking someone to do something different.  You can be a happier, more contented person when you shift your understanding.  You can live the life of your dreams when you take away the intellect and you replace it with action, with doing, with living.  We think and think and think and it gets us nowhere so often.  Live, do, decide to accept your power, the power of others, the truth of the universe and stay curious.  When you are curious about what is happening instead of intellectualizing it, you can gather up the juicy goodness that exists in all things, people and experiences.

Have fun if you want to,

xo

a

Listen Up!

Hey! This is an appeal coming directly from my heart and soul, please, please, please stop putting yourself down, abusing yourself, telling yourself you don't deserve this or that, being your own worst critic.  Please stop treating yourself like you don't matter, aren't worthy and are less than.  Please stop being the perfect example for emotional and physical abuse.  Please put an end to the constant and unrelenting tirade you wage against yourself daily.  We are all exhausted from pushing back, resisting that voice, giving into that voice, allowing ourselves to be stifled; our light dimmed.  It is no wonder why we are short and irritable with one another, we don't really have the energy to be light-hearted and easy-going when we are invalidated on a regular basis in some way.

The way that we mistreat ourselves comes in a myriad of ways.  So many, in reality, that it is hard to sometimes pinpoint how it is happening.  Often the best way to find out how we are treating ourselves is how we treat or think about others.  Are you short with others; understanding; impatient?  Do you believe that your way is the only way?  Do you have rage that comes out when you are driving or other places where you feel safe from the outside world?  Do you censor your thoughts?  Are there things you would never allow yourself to entertain even in your head?  Are you curious about yourself and others so much so that you ask questions until you can no longer drill the topic down?  Are you sometimes mean or irrational?  All that you project outward you direct inward, period.  You can do nothing to someone else that isn't done to you.  When you send out ill will you receive it as well.  When you refuse to be open you close off from yourself.  When you decide that there is no more than what you can see you will be blinded to so many amazing things that are just outside of your periphery.  When you are mean to others you are being mean, so mean to yourself and projection creates an amazing distraction.  You won't be distracted for long though.  At some point you will recognize the abuse.

Additionally, the abuse also happens in the direction of holding others up to high expectations and being disappointed in them; you are doing the same thing to yourself and feel justified for the disappointment because you have a lot of shoulds in your world.  When you are disappointed in another you are letting yourself down in some way and are triggered when it happens in, what most people call, reality.  Disappointment is a great way to discover how you punish yourself.  When you are disappointed in someone or let down or feel betrayed or believe that someone is plain wrong, you will find that you are feeling strong emotions towards yourself, most of which aren't supportive of your self-worth.  I know this may sound confusing for some… I mean, what does self-worth have to do with what anyone does to you?  Well… when you understand that you are deserving of all things, when you are a miracle that is fully and completely supported in an infinite number of ways without you ever having to "earn" it, you will also notice that the only time someone isn't supportive of you is when they aren't supporting themselves.  When you recognize your own worth you understand when someone else doesn't… and you don't take it personally when they behave accordingly.  Taking offense is a sign of lack of self-worth.

worthy_73_large

I want you to think about these questions: Who deserves love?  Who deserves as much money as the universe can provide?  Should some people have less than others or more?  What makes someone deserving, in general?  Now listen, we all can agree to this:  when a child is born their very existence is enough to warrant everyone stopping to take care of them.  They are deserving, worthy and there is no question about it.  They don't need to earn love or do anything to be considered a miracle except to exist.  Well love, life and existence isn't like the stock market where you gain or lose over time.  You come into the world deserving of all, fully loved for being and you stay that way.  You are still that baby that came into existence.  Your lack of knowledge didn't matter when you were first born and it doesn't matter now.  You lack of ability didn't take away your right to deserve and nor does it now.  Just because you or  someone else decided to place a judgment on this or that doesn't make you less or more deserving than others.  Your being born is reason enough to hold yourself in hight esteem; to have reverence for.    You are worthy, you are deserving, you are love.  When you feed this truth everything else that takes away from it begins to starve.  You begin to see others for their light the more you shine yours.  

xo

a

worthy3

Lady Bits

Hi! I have to say that my vagina has served me well; it has served others well too.  I just wanted to share some appreciation I have for my lady part that is smart, discerning and always ready for more.  I also wanted to discuss how amazing it is to me that we freak out about talking about our vaginas so much so that we simply don't.  I, for one, am a proud vagina owner and have no issue discussing the ins and outs, so to speak, of it all.  If you are a gay man you still have some ties to vaginas.  Without one you wouldn't have come to be.  So all hail to the vaginas of the world… now let's dig in. (Just too many ways to enjoy this).  

I have been asked, more than once, about my fondness for vaginas.  I have also asked other women how well they know their own.  First of all, vaginas are amazing.  Seriously; they are living, breathing things.  They stretch and contract, they pulse and react; they are like magicians.  Now you see something now you don't.  We don't give vaginas enough, if any at all, credit.  Women will honestly say that vaginas gross them out.  How is it that something we all have, that gives birth to human beings, could be anything other than awe-inspiring?  Well, they become gross when people don't understand what the vagina/vulva go through on a regular basis, including their menses.  So few women appreciate the self-cleaning, self-sustaining entity that is their vajayjay.  You are walking around with a miracle between your legs ladies and you often choose to treat it like a burden.

Regardless of whether or not you totally get how awesome the whole lady part region is, if you are a woman it is a part of you.  That which is you, any part, always does better given love.  Clean it, love it, know what happens to it when it is happy, when it is sad. Learn about it.  Do you know that woman ejaculate?  I hope you do know, but if you don't, read up on it.  Most of us know everything there is to know about penises and at the same time couldn't point out our own g-spot.  If this resonates with you I am thinking you need some alone time with a mirror.  Women have so many things to deal with when it comes to self-love and self-worth.  It is imperative that we are careful about giving out love to ourselves and each other.  Be careful with how we respect and own our sexuality, we are teaching the little girls everywhere how they should feel about themselves. 

This teaching includes how we talk about ourselves, or don't talk about ourselves.  How we get embarrassed or appalled if the word vagina is brought up.  People, come on!  You will survive a little pussy talk.  You won't faint if someone talks about using their vagina, or the fact that they have one, to get them things (which most women have but don't want to admit).  My hope for every woman is that she learns to own the power of her entire being, fully… this includes her vagina. 

Ladies you are the backbone of everything.  When you love yourselves fully you are able to teach others to do the same… yes, this includes your snatch.  Love it and show others how to do the same, everyone will appreciate that!  :)

femalesex

xo

a

You Hurt You. Stop.

Hello lovely, How long would you tolerate a relationship where you were told that you weren't living up to the expectations of your partner.  What if you worked hard to make progress to attempt to appease your partner and they still found fault with you and refused to validate the work you had done thus far?  What if you told your friends what your partner said to you.  That they called you fat, lazy, unorganized, stupid and other such things?  What would they advise you to do?  If your friend came to you with this information, how would you advise them?

self_harm2

Emotional abuse is far more damaging overall than physical and most of us are guilty of perpetrating it.  Usually we have the where-with-all to keep it a secret and only do it in our safest most private places… in our own hearts and minds.  We cut ourselves down so swiftly most of us don't even recognize that it is being done but it is.  We are victims to ourselves.  No matter where we go there we are.  Looking in the mirror, eating dinner or a snack, walking to and fro, doing the work you have chosen, you are there putting yourself down when the chance arises.  We fill ourselves full of doubt, we imagine the worst.  We believe we don't deserve all the great things and when they come along we often have a hard time accepting them.  We may feel ok to have what "makes sense" for the work we have put in, but any more than that and we upper limit ourselves and create reasons for not being able to push past certain points in various areas of our lives.  

Do you need to break up with you or do you have a chance to be rehabilitated?  You would advise your friend to leave the lover who was abusive, emotionally or otherwise… so I am advising you to do something similar.  Treat that side of yourself as you would someone who is unbelievably insecure and lashes out regularly.  That part of you is like a person drowning looking for anything close to push down on in order to get above the surface.  You are going to have to be disciplined and diligent when it comes to either cutting off the nasty comments or reframing them and reprogramming the responses of your own personal bully.  When you are able to do this the world will open up in ways you never realized it would.  When you are supportive to yourself you can breathe, you are lighter.  

How would anyone fare being abused daily?  Ok, now look at your life and the areas you would like to be improved, would support help in this area?  Would some positive reinforcement be a motivating force?  I believe so.  Try it, what do you have to lose except that abusive bully that lives inside you.  Your higher self is waiting.

xo

a

I Want...

Hola!

I want to do 1000 push ups daily and a million other physical feats that I will keep listing here and there.  I want to be a superhero and pole dance like Jenyne Butterfly.  I want to be able to be able to just lift off of the ground and hover until I decide to go somewhere, and then I want to just be there, in a flash.  I want to be able to pick everyone up around me and swing them like when they were little and loved to be held.  I want to give back massages to the masses and then free them from their desk jobs like freeing frogs from freshman biology lab.  I want to show people what life could be like if they loved themselves and enjoyed each and every moment, even when it was hard.  I want so many things and they are all valid and wonderful and possible.  

 You want things too.  You do.  You want to keep your relationship steamy and delicious.  You want to have work that you consider fun and forget that you get paid.  You want to feel worthy and deserving all of the time.  You want to be fearless unless it is necessary for your safety.  You want to be loved and be love.  We all do.  There are a lot of other things that you want that you refuse to admit to.  We censor so much of ourselves, judge it really.  We spend so much time deciding that what we want, what we desire is something that is impossible, not cool, acceptable or important that we forget that we create all of this, everything around us.  Someone somewhere decided that smells should be sprayed and we have perfume and air freshener.  Another person thought it would be cool to jump out of  a plane and not die… tada: the parachute was born!  Better yet, someone or something imagined us into existence and here we are.  Now, how do we go from the amazing miracles that exist in our everyday to believing that we cannot have what we want??

Look around, how many things can be explained to the source.  Really.  Even the idea of God… where, how, why?  Where does God come from?  Where does the universe originate and why?  What is this thing called existence?  If we can be here posing these questions with no certain or universally accepted answer then why can I not fly by just deciding it to be so (and working hard at it)?  Why can't we stop the madness of sitting for hours on end hating what we do and create a different paradigm?  Why do we keep doing the things that someone made up that we don't like?  Make something new up.  Seriously.  

I am going to keep on stating my wants loudly and proudly.  You never know who is listening and can help you bring your wants into reality.  Speak them for yourself, be unafraid and have fun.  This is life, no one is going to get out of it alive so what do you have to lose?

xo

a

ps - Two videos for your pleasure :)

Jenyne Butterfly being amazing: http://youtu.be/waIuhfoTMv8

Tee Major doing some pretty awesome shizznit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POdzasJklxw

Imagine

Hey sweets, imagine 2

Quick answer these questions:  How would you describe yourself?  What are the most awesome things about you?  What do you bring to a situation that you enter into (take your pick on the situation)?  If you are stumbling over answering any of these questions, or would prefer not to, we have some work to do.  I am going to make a wild guess (honestly not at all wild, but you got my sarcasm I am sure) that you could answer these questions without hesitation:  What are the things you need to fix or work on about yourself?  What are your least yummy qualities?  What would you change about you if you had 3 wishes?  

It is interesting how we can find the issues with ourselves way quicker than we can find what is fantastic and amazeballs.  I have a hard time finding my areas of concern… mainly because I really enjoy all of me.  Imagine what that feels like, to enjoy who you are.  You wake up in the morning and you remember you are who you are and you smile.  You are excited because you get to be this person all day.  She is fun, funny, exuberant, energetic, healthy, active, loving and curious.  She expects the best and most days gets it.  She knows that anything is possible, that everything happens for a reason and that nothing is permanent.  She is on her way and the way is the point.  Imagine embodying that plus other delicious feelings, ideas, theories, etc.  How hard would it be to worry, fear, dread, and lament?  Pretty damn hard… and pretty damn useless.  

First, find out what your light (you are light so find out more about yours) does when it enters a room.  Does it get brighter, dimmer, is it turned off or is it shining on everything like the sun or the moon.  Discover what people enjoy about you and see if it is the same thing or things you enjoy about you.  Find out who you are when you are at your best… whatever you consider your best to be.  Spend time asking yourself questions like you are actually interested in finding out the answer.  Treat yourself like a beautiful stranger you would love to spend the rest of your life with.  Have fun with you, learning you, catering to you and your every need.  Then wake up to the you you would want to be… every day work to be all of the things you know about you that you love.  Honestly, it isn't hard, you just need to be intentional about it.  You cannot expect to get to the place where each morning you fall in love all over again with yourself if you are not willing to wake up and do whatever it is that is necessary to enjoy, cherish and appreciate all of you.  

We are very, very special and deserve to be focused on completely.  You aren't ever going to get the kind of love you can give from anyone else. Why are you withholding?  Why are you hesitant to let it pour out of you into you and out again?  We need everyone feeling special and great and loving unconditionally.  Imagine if the world had all the love we are holding onto like there was no more to go around?  Imagine if you took absolute wonderful care of you?  What would that look like, how would that feel… how free would we all be?

Imagine.

xo

a

I Was Born With It

Hey love,

I was born with certain gifts… now, after that statement I had the urge to say, "we all were."  The urge comes from the understanding that people feel like there isn't enough yummy to go around.  If I say I am great then I am in some way saying that you aren't.  If I say that I am smart you might want to assert that you are too.  We spend so much time worrying about what other people will think of us if they find out that we like ourselves.  We don't want to seem too big or bright or in love with who we are.  We actually pretend to not be as awesome just in case someone takes offense!  What the fuck???  

Ok, this is the deal, those of you who need to assert your own gifts when someone is loving on themselves, you can stop reading now and live all miserable and be an ass somewhere else.  Those who are dimming themselves STOP.  When you pretend to be something you aren't you are lying.  You are also making it hard for those of us who are working to lift the world up by example.  The first relationship you need to be committed to is the one with your own self.  You need to truly enjoy who YOU are!  Who will if you don't.  Who cares if someone calls you conceited or self-absorbed.  It is more a reflection of their lack of being able to focus on themselves instead of a commentary about you.  Besides, there are other things you could be that are actually not that yummy like unhygienic or murderous.  Those are things I would be concerned with if I was being told them by others.  

When you shine bright, when you focus on your gifts, when you love all of you things in the world shift.  You will see the light in others without trying.  You will see the abundance and others will too.  Just be steadfast and unapologetic for being who you are.  It is your birthright to be awesome!!!  I know it is mine.  I hear things like, how did you get to where you are?  How do you know what you know?  How did you become Aina?  Hard work.  Moment to moment attention to each detail.  Loving everything that I have been through as my gifts, my lessons to allow me to know me better and in that way know everyone else.  I got here by letting go of judgments and by being open to what is.  I am here because I am supposed to be.  I am great because I don't know how to be anything else.  Maybe she was born with it… yep, that is me. 

Own your life, own your love, own it and let others do the same for themselves… 

xo

a

2012-12-08 17.52.08

Love Revolution

Hi!!

How do we bring about change in one another?  How do we make the world a more loving and creative space?  What is the answer to the question of what or who will change the world?  The funny thing is the answer isn't far-fetched or some equation that only two people know.  Michael Jackson sang about it, most spiritual leaders speak on it.  It is simple, it is profound, it is layered, it is multi-dimensional… it, the thing that can change everything is you loving you, fully and without condition.  

The trick is that it isn't about helping others in the way we have seen it done historically; it isn't about resisting what is. It is about steadily opening yourself up to what is.  About accepting your world and seeing it, truly.  It is about learning what you filter and why… who you are and how you came to be.  It is about sharing that information with those around you and receiving others as they do the same.  When you begin to accept you let go of what should or shouldn't be.  This is where it gets big:  when you stop denying you are able to receive what the truth behind the tragedy, the horror, the struggle and the confusion is.  There is opportunity to find what you need to know everywhere around you.  Most people have been taught that certain things should not exist, though they do, so those things keep happening because no one is actually seeing these things as truths, purposeful truths.  Instead we turn away from the horror and condemn it as evil.  We see tragedy and say that this was not supposed to happen.  We hear pain and we turn away from it, saying it is wrong.  How do we learn, then, from what is happening, if we deem it a mistake and pay no mind? 

What is wrong?  What is tragedy?  What is acceptance?  How do we learn about the human spirit?  How do we discover unity?  How do most people realize they are like others?  These things, these lives that come and these lives that go, these moments that change us forever, they all have reasons.  Some are discovered immediately and others are looked at best in conjunction with other similar happenings.  Until we learn that it isn't about changing others we will constantly be forced inward to deal with you.    There is a method to the madness, seriously… and this is where the layers start to peel back.  There is a grand show being put on for your benefit.  It is like an amazingly lucid and super-duper long lucid dream.  Now it is your turn to switch it up, take control of what is happening and decide what is or is not necessary for a world full of love.

Until you accept where you are, where this world is, ain't nothing gonna change.  This work I am suggesting you do takes love.  You have to love yourself, you have to want love to be the driving force behind all things instead of the fear that moves most of us now.  It isn't rocket science, it is bigger than that.  Loving who you are, working on being the love you truly are on a moment to moment basis, is harder than anything anyone could do outside of yourself.  You will have to accept your judgments, you will have to accept your shit.  You will have to truly find compassion for all things and behave accordingly in order to change the world.  You can do it, we all can, we all will.

The revolution is love.

xo

a        

lovelife 

Story Moments

Hiya, Yep, the details matter.  The details are the difference between I kissed a girl and I kissed my best friend's girl.  The details are what make a story unique, interesting, fun and well a story.  The details give things form and structure.  The details make the whole, in reality.  What are the details you focus on?  What are the small points that you spend time fleshing out?  How much attention are you paying to how you frame your thoughts?  We all want our lives to be great but we aren't willing to put the energy into what would actually bring that greatness to us.  Though the details make us up, shape our world, create our experiences, we have a hard time being detailed when we want to change our world and have different experiences.

The details change the picture.  When you need to shift your thinking the details are the fastest most reliable ways of doing so… and the hardest.  Changing your stories is a moment to moment process that can be all-consuming, if you are doing it correctly.  You will have to be on your every thought, at first.  Taking note, finding out what you are saying to yourself to create the feeling of uneasiness that you have grown accustomed to.  You will have to "listen without prejudice" to all the voices in your head.  You will need to let go of the judgment that you have about what you hear when you become aware.  You will need to finally hear the barrage of insults that you inflict upon yourself, the limitations that you set up and the abuse that goes on in the background for ambiance.  At first there may be shock, sadness, awe… keep listening, hear the details and then look around at your world, your life.  See where you struggle, see where there is fear and pain.  The inside terrorist is way more dangerous than anything that could happen to you on the outside.  You cannot run away from yourself, you cannot hide from the attacker that lives within.

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You are going to have to decide what story you would like to live.  You will have to decide what words you want to hear, what feelings you want to predominantly experience.  You will have to do the hard work.  The moment to moment work.  You will have to change the details.  The best part is you can.  You can totally shift your life by shifting the ideas you hold up as truth.  You are worth the struggle, the relentless silencing of the voices you will have to do.  You can and, if you are reading this, you are ready to.  

Good luck on your journey of growth, change and opening to love.

xo

a

It's Time To Make A Change

Howdy, For over 20 years I have helped people gain control of their nutrition and weight management.  When my clients follow my protocol they get results 100% of the time… and in more ways than they thought they would.  I work on 3 levels, the mind, body and spirit… so no stone is left unturned.  If they are committed to doing the work, the work will be done.  Some of the work is standard and no surprise at all, like conscious eating… then there are the things that are surprising like the fact that some people aren't going to support your weight loss and will try to sabotage you at some point on you journey… and one of those people is sometimes you.

When you decide you want to get fit after years of being out of shape, overweight or both you will be faced with a lot of resistance.  The resistance is fear.  Fear permeates us when we are unhealthy.  Fear vibrations are lower than love vibrations.  Eating processed items, sitting for long periods of time for years on end, thinking things that aren't supportive and doing very little self-love work will cause your vibrations to register low on an energetic scale.  When your vibrations are low, you aren't motivated to make many, if any, changes.  When you do get the gumption to do something different you are up against your brain chemistry that has conditioned responses to what you have been doing, and will resist change if it was up to it; you are up against your regularly scheduled programming, so getting a new routine is daunting.  You are also afraid of judgment, so joining a gym or getting a trainer is big and scary.  Just getting to the point where you can tell people who you are working with someone or doing something is a big hurdle emotionally.  

It is no wonder, then why so many people fail at truly finding the solution to their fitness and weight loss goals.  Not to mention society and the media.  I am all for acceptance, I teach it, preach it, live it.  However, acceptance does not mean no work needed.  Acceptance is where you start to begin changing that which needs improving.  The idea that things don't need improvement is ridiculous.  People go to church to become better people (so they say), people go to therapy to become better equipped to handle their lives, people clean themselves to get clean or improve upon the moment.  Improvement is the nature of life.  We have children and want them to be better off than we were… but as soon as we discuss weight everyone is a-ok and doesn't need to do anything??  We do more damage lying about not wanting to change our bodies than we do changing our bodies.  We oppress more people by saying that it doesn't matter what you look like than we do allowing people to care openly.  Acceptance is the starting point for change… not the end point for life.  When you accept that you are where you are and you want to be where you aren't you can begin the steps needed to make it happen… including getting healthy.

healthylifestyle

So stop telling people they are big-boned.  No one is big-boned.  Yes, once you have carried excess weight for years and years your femur grows wider to compensate for the force they are under, but no one is born with abnormally big ass bones and then becomes fat.  Stop telling people not to get "too skinny."  Instead tell them that the cheese danish is poison that will end up killing them in the end.  Let them know that the cheeseburger has no nourishment.  Tell them that they look puffy and unhealthy instead of saying that they shouldn't go overboard with working out.  Encourage them to work out, this is what their body needs… this is what their soul needs, this is what will bring them to change, improvement and empowerment.

You have been given a gift, this body that sits reading this… you are the caretaker of a great vessel.  When you take excellent care of this vessel you are able to do amazing and wondrous things with it. It is your servant.  When you neglect it, you become imprisoned by the very thing that is here for you to experience the world with.  Your body becomes the master and you the slave.  Pay attention to the orders that are being shouted out to you from that vessel.  Who is in charge?  Are you afraid to stop eating something because of how it tastes or are you thinking about how you need to be fueled to bring the vibrational levels of this great vessel up?  Where is your focus?  What is your purpose?     

When you decide to make a change know that it may not always be easy, some people may not be helpful, and you may feel like you have been backsliding a little bit.  Just keep on keeping on, you will get to where you dream of eventually.  

xo

a

You're Alright

luz-del-corazon_2615453 When everyone realizes they can do no wrong they will be all right.

You are not a mistake.  You have done nothing wrong.  You are meant to do, be, act, love, hate, cry, steal, hurt and enjoy whatever you have.  When you look at your life, what do you see?  When you go back over the history of you, what sticks out?  Where does your heart drift to, what images does your mind fixate on?  What are your judgments around those things past?  How often do you lament things that cannot be undone?  How many times have you wished you could change what was, make it better?  How many times have you been angry with your past self for not knowing better?  

Does that make sense?  If you don't know better how can you do better?  How does replaying something that isn't happening now helping you?  What does your past self get out of being told repeatedly that they are stupid, dumb, f*cked up and wrong?  If you cannot  change it, why are you abusing it into eternity?  Please stop.  You don't need to continue the hurt past the moment of pain. You can let it be what it is and not inflate it any more.  When you hold onto a perceived mistake and dissect it over and over you only imprint that which you obsess over.  You don't learn to not do something by being beaten into submission.  You just learn how to deal with being hurt, a lot.  You learn how to abuse and be abused.  You also miss out on all the good stuff that this instant was full of.  

Take a look again, at those moments, those defining times when you feel you were damaged beyond recognition or you damaged something or someone else.  Look at those times that you regret, that bring up feelings of pain or shame.  Take those moments one by one, hold them close and then look ahead, after them.  Where did those moments lead you?  What was the big amazing yummy fantastic place you landed after it all happened… where did you rise to that you wouldn't have without that mistake?  Where that issue bring you that is now a blessing.  Believe me, there is a place it took you, there is always somewhere those moments are leading us.  Always.  

You didn't do it wrong.  You didn't go the direction you shouldn't have.  You are not a mistake or mistaken.  You were going somewhere and one of the towns you had to visit was that situation you keep reliving and wanting to change.  But you wouldn't be where you are without it… you wouldn't be getting where you want to be without being where you were.  All of it, the stuff you enjoyed and the stuff you didn't… it is all right.  How would your life change if you viewed it as being On Purpose?

When you realize you can do no wrong, you will be alright.

xo

a