Dreams

Resolute

Howdy Partner, A new year is about to happen, and when a year is new everyone feels like they are too.  In celebration of that newness a lot of folks make resolutions.  The top 5 resolutions are: 1) To lose weight, 2) Getting organized, 3) Spend less, save more, 4) Enjoy life to the fullest, and 5) Staying fit and healthy.  (If you want to read 6-10 follow the link at the end of this blog)  My biggest concern is that staying fit and healthy is number 5… though spending more time with family is number 10, which I am sure has to do with the fact that resolutions come a week after Christmas and other winter holidays that push family time as the thing to do.

My second biggest concern is that while 45% of the US population makes New Year's Resolutions only 8% are successful while 24% of peeps who make resolutions never succeed and fail on their resolutions each year.  Then you have age as a factor with younger folks being more successful than older (over 50) folks.  Maybe as we age we have had too many failures around resolutions/goals so it is easier to get discouraged and give up than when we are young and still have a few shreds of hope.  :)  It seems that resolutions aren't really effective when you look at all of these stats.  Is there a point then?  Shall we just stop and let it all go?

Well, not so fast.  Resolution, or goal setting has success.  It is a fact that someone without goals never reaches their goals 100% of the time.  So setting a goal gives you a chance to reach them.  Direction leads you somewhere, at least, and usually leads you in the direction you desire.  So, giving up on goal setting may not be he way to avoid failing, instead changing the goals we set or how we set them could be the answer.

Inspiration is a beautiful thing.  Inspiration is the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something (Webster's Dictionary).  If we feel inspired we are more likely to act.  Your goals need to be inspired and inspirational… and the steps you take to reach them need to be inspired and inspirational as well.  So instead of losing weight this year, what is your inspiration?  Is it to wear certain brands, run a number of miles, do jumping jacks for a number of minutes, get your blood pressure down to a certain number, or feel good?  Maybe your inspiration is something else.  When your goals have meaning, a meaning you have thought out and delineated you may have a better chance of actually sticking to the steps necessary to reach them.  You may also do well to be honest, at least with yourself, about why you really want to reach a certain goal.  Know this:  whatever reason you have for setting a goal is valid.  Period.

When you put your heart into what you want to change, why you want to change it and what you will do to make it so… or rather, when you commit to a goal you no longer view it as something you can get out of.  You are in it.  You are dedicated.  You set up your world so that your goal is priority.  Maybe you have friends that encourage and hold you accountable, maybe you hire someone to help you reach your goals, maybe you stop making excuses.  However it is done, it is doable when you commit to it.

Good luck figuring out the direction you want your life to take in 2013.  It is yours to create, this future you dream of.  It starts with you, your vision, your motivation, your inspiration.

xo

a

http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/

Dreams of a Child

Hello there, When I was younger I dreamt of things like children do.  I saw myself in the home of my dreams, with the love of my life, with the career that I wanted.  At no point, as a child, did I ever decide that I was asking for too much or believe that my dreams were too grandiose.  I wanted these things and I thought about them as if they would happen.  Life was exciting when I was a child (and luckily for me it still is) and part of that excitement was dreaming, the possibility.  As I grew up and learned the 'truth' about various things in life (money being scarce (ha!) and true love being rare) my dreams changed to fit what I now knew.  I stopped thinking about owning a home as a given, I changed what I wanted in a partner and I changed my mind about my career once or twice.

Still I grew older and things changed even more.  Though I am an optimistic person and tend to dream and desire more than many more "realistic" or "pessimistic" folks, I became discouraged in various ways that I never would have as a child.  I decided that relationships had to be 'work' and that jobs had to include parts that you possibly hated because you can't get everything, right?  You had to take the good with the bad, right?  Those were the 'Facts of Life' were they not?  I mean, everywhere I looked people were compromising their dreams to live a life that didn't quite fit, but did the job.  And for those who weren't compromising or settling, they were considered immature, needing to grow up.  "You can't always get what you want" after all.  We are trained to believe that settling is just growing up.

I question these ideas of grown-ups regularly.  Why wear an ill fitted life?  Why not hold out for your dreams?  Why not work hard to realize what you always wanted.  Why settle?

When you consciously choose your life you have to face the reality that some of what is currently happening in it may not work for you anymore.  Recently I have chosen not to settle in any aspect of my life.  From the time that this decision was made things fell away.  Loss happened.  I ended relationships and began new ones.  I approached work differently and still do on a daily basis.  At the same time, things began falling into my lap.  Struggle became joy, life became love.  Things weren't so 'hard.'  The biggest thing is being honest every day with how I am where I am because I choose to be, and, if I want my life to be different than it is I can choose differently.  I am remembering what I wanted as a child and not judging it as fantasy only.  It is a goal, the foundation for reality.  When you stop compromising your dreams you have to start living your life differently.  You are responsible for making your dreams a reality.

If you knew that you could have it all, would you work for it?  Would you open yourself to it?  What if that meant closing yourself off to what you are currently doing, who you are currently with, how you presently view the world?  What would you do to live the life of your dreams?

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."  ~Walt Disney

xo

a

Success!

Aloha! The rain is coming down on Maui on my last night here.  It is appropriate since I will be heading into the rain of the Pacific North West.  The cruel truth is that rain here is warm and tropical, in Seattle it is cold and brutal.  My trip has been a fantastic journey, travel and food and working out and meeting awesome people.  However, I am very excited to come home.  I miss my bed, my things, a closet, a room without spiders and geckos.  Though the gecko is a spiritual creature according to Hawaiian lore, I am ok with not sharing space as much as I do right now.  Tonight, I picked up the sheets (to check for creatures) then lifted my pillow only to find a baby gecko that wasn't in a very safe place.  I put him outside only to see another baby on the other side of the room.  It is like they are gremlins; multiplying with water after midnight.

I also miss my work.  I was in college when I decided that I wanted to become a rowing coach.  It was my sophomore year and I was participating in National Team Testing.  I was new to sports and barely called myself an athlete, but I was good and I knew that much.  I was also good at describing the rowing stroke to my teammates and I loved helping.  I, after all, was a peer counselor in High School and an RA in college.  At the time I decided to become a coach I had a rather socially challenged Head Coach that needed a lot of assisting.  I filled the role of translator when I could.  It was then that I realized coaching was an option.  I thought the thought and then put it away.  I still had to finish school.  After graduating and picking up a coaching job almost immediately I was enthralled by the Olympics.  It was 1996 and cycling was being shown quite a bit.  I knew that I needed to find another sport to do alongside rowing and cycling seemed to fit.  It looked like it was mentally and physically grueling (a requirement for me) and I liked the way it shaped the body (another requirement).  I also sent into the universe ad dream of being able to work out for a living at the same time I was helping others.  I thought I would have to become an Olympic athlete (and I worked on that) or be a professional athlete in order to do so.  Turns out I was wrong with the means by which but dead on with bringing my dream to fruition.  Working out for a living is doable and exciting and literally a dream come true.

Because I love what I do it is hard to pull myself away from it.  So taking vacation becomes a challenge.  I do need space away from the daily grind in order to gain some perspective, stay fresh and study up.  However, it is a joy to come back to what I absolutely love to do day in and day out.  The music, the people, the love.  I am lucky because I worked my ass off for years.  When I began this journey I made $5300 annually for my first collegiate coaching gig.  I got a raise the next year to $5700.  Loving what you do and doing what you love means you may have to wait for the financial reward, but it is worth it.  No amount of money would stop me from teaching/coaching and training.  I always ask myself this question:  If I were to win the lotto would I stop working.  The answer has never been 'no' when it comes to my work with motivation and health & well-being.  When you would do what you do for free you know you have struck it rich!  That is what I would call success.

What are your passions?  Are you living them?  Are you going after your dreams???  Why or why not?

xo

a

I Want Some Things

Howdy! Tis the season to get stuff right.  Oh, I know most of you would say 'to give' but let's be honest… you want some things too.  We have this funny way of trying to be altruistic when it is a big ol' lie.  Seriously.  You weren't put here to not want something.  We want lots of things and there isn't anything wrong with it.  I mean, if you are being selfless and giving to others, who are the others and wouldn't they be trying to do the same thing if wanting things were so bad?  I believe that one of the reasons we 'get' things is because we are open to receiving them, and, if you look around, how much do you get?  I am sure you get a lot of things, which tells me that on various levels you feel deserving, you feel worth receiving.  Make the fact that you do want things something that you own instead keeping your wanting hidden in your subconscious (like a dirty secret).  When you bring it to the surface you are able to direct it a bit more, you can be more specific about getting your desires met.  Getting isn't a sin, wanting isn't a sin, asking isn't a sin.  When you want (which is all of the time in so many different ways) you are giving someone the chance to please you… and you, the altruistic one, knows how giving someone something they want or need feels.  It feels amazing.  We not only want to be loved, we desire to give it as well, in its various forms.

I believe that a life of service doesn't mean a life of struggle.  We have decided that those who want to help others shouldn't want to help themselves as well.  They should be selfless, oftentimes poor, in only a bit better spot to those they are helping.  How would anyone be an example of success by not being successful?  How is it wrong to have abundance and be of service.  Wouldn't you believe the person who has figured out how to have what they need would be able to tell you a thing or two about getting somewhere that you are not, like a place of abundance?  It is like asking someone who doesn't love themselves to love everyone else.  When you have done your work, figured out how to meet your needs or ask for help, serving is done in a much purer way.  It isn't being used to squash the very real fact that you don't feel deserving on some level; it isn't covering up a deep feeling of guilt.  In any case, that isn't really giving, in my opinion.  It is being selfish in a deep and unconscious way.

Own your wants.  Ask for what it is that makes your heart sing without judgement.  No one is served by denying who they are.  Speak your truth.  If all else fails, and you don't believe that it is ok to want, look at it like this.  The world isn't lacking in anything.  We have more people, more stuff, more food (regardless if it is getting to everyone or not, the capacity to feed is infinite), more ideas, more than ever before.  Scarcity is a lie.  When you have something it takes nothing away from me.  It is the argument of gay marriage somehow hurting heterosexual marriages.  One doesn't take away from the other.  There is enough marriage to go around and enough love to sustain the relationships that want sustenance.  My wanting stuff, experiences, my way, doesn't mean you cannot have your stuff, experiences or way.  We can all be in a place of abundance if we just wanted it, openly, without judgement.

xo

a

Be Happy Now

Hello there, How many times a day do you say no, silently, to your world, your life, to others?  How many times do you wish for something that isn't happening at the moment?  How often do you try to change what has already happened by going over it in your head and remembering it differently.  How many times do you try to get someone to be someone else, including yourself?  How do you think your world is affected when you deny, refuse, resist and consistently try to wish away what is?  Is life, your life, that unsatisfactory that wanting something other than what you have is more fun, more rewarding and overall more enjoyable?

Happiness is not something you shoot for.  Joy isn't a goal.  These are states we have always within us, totally accessible.  We spend so much time choosing to dislike what is that we never see the beauty in the moment.  We take for granted all that supports, loves and appreciates us because it isn't exactly what we want it to be or how we would like it to be.  The truth is we may never get where we want to go, we may not be around long enough.  Nothing is promised, certainly not an amount of time in this human experience, so, though planning for the future is important, being attached to it isn't.  The future has a mind of its own and it is better to bet on what is right now.

Learning to love this moment brings you to that state of being we call happiness.  Loving the moment doesn't stop you from wanting the moment to change or be something else.  It allows for you to spend less time efforting change.  When you are happy, when joy seeps from your pores the world is yours.  What you thought you had to force now flows easily in your direction.  What you thought was going to take forever and be a struggle is done with joy and realized sooner than you thought.  Most of all you forget to be miserable when you are busy being happy.  You forget to worry when you trust in the moment you are in.  When you give up resisting your life, your life stops resisting you.

Be expansive, be joyful, be love.

xo

a

Dreaming My Dreams

Howdy, Do you remember your dreams?  What did you want to be when you were a child?  I wanted to be a journalist.  My best friend and I decided that when we were older (21 years old was 'older' to us at the age of 11) we would live together.  Our basement would be an ice rink and there wouldn't be stairs that led to it.  Instead there would be an ice slide from the bottom floor to the ice rink basement.  I can remember the conversation like it was yesterday and I still kind of want that ice rink basement idea. :)

Over the years I have had many dreams.  I have reached some (working out for a living) and let others go (School of Journalism at Columbia University).  I have noticed when I limited my dreams based on societal things and worked hard to allow my mind to wander into anything that would sound interesting to my soul.  I remember when I found out that Elmo was a black guy named Kevin Clash.  I was watching a talk show years ago where he was the guest.  It wasn't until that moment that I realized that I hadn't ever considered becoming a puppeteer because somewhere inside I had judged it as something black folks didn't do.  I had never seen someone black doing it and had completely counted it out as an option.  The funniest part was I am, in no way, stereotypical with how I live my life.  Still, no one is immune from those judgements about what is or is not possible.  We are surrounded by limiting factors every day.  After that moment, which was profound for me, I knew that I had some digging to do within myself.

Dreaming is so important.  Being limitless when you dream is the key ingredient to finding out what you really want to do.  Taking away the need to know how is the hardest part of dreaming.  We always want to make sense of something, so much so that when we dream we forget to just feel what you feel, think what you think and then see what shakes out.  So, I challenge you to dream.  Dream big.  Make a list of what you want to do, what you want to be, where you want to live, how you want to feel.  There are no limits, there is no right, there is no wrong, there is just you.  Before the phone existed someone wanted to talk to someone else who was far away.  Before hot air balloons someone wanted to float around in the sky in a basket.

You just never know where your dreams may take you…

xo

a

Go Forward, Move Ahead

Hello, What have you decided you can or cannot accomplish?  What or who do you use as your guide to move forward?  Are you looking back at what is for others or what can be for you?  What is the key, how do we create our reality?

Often when I ask someone about their health and fitness goals they will tell me that they want to lose weight and get toned.  That is the usual desire for most people.  I also hear that some feel that they are in a better place than the people that they know of the rest of the US.  People also say things akin to that about their job being ok and that they cannot expect to like all of it.  I hear people talk about their relationships being work and that you have to go through those hard times and stick with it.  People tend to take the worst situation or the most mediocre and compare their lives to it to feel good or accomplished.  I am asking you to take the highest ideal and look to that for guidance.

Why would you compare yourself to the majority of people who are very, very, very unhealthy?  Wouldn't it make sense to shoot for the moon and have an honest assessment of where you are in relation to where you want to go?  We are so often looking to not feel bad for neglecting ourselves that we look at those doing a worse job to say that we are better than they are.  Well, I have to say, it doesn't actually take much to be at a better spot than most Americans, health-wise.  That type of comparison doesn't actually get you somewhere new either.  You end up just surpassing the bottom rung and having a difficult time elevating much higher.  Get over where you are, accept it without comparing it to someone who has yet to get to your level and look forward at where you want to go.  If you tried to drive to Florida by looking at where you were before and not the road that would take you there, where would you end up?

This is true for relationships as well.  Why would you want to have to effort your way through?  Is love an effort or is it simply abundant.  Maybe you don't believe it is possible for love to simply flow from one person to another and back without effort.  I believe we have all experienced that type of love somewhere in our worlds.  It may be a friend we have where the love is just overflowing.  It may be a family member that we adore with our entire being.  Wherever you have memory of that effortless love, bring it up, to the surface.  Feel it as a reminder so you know when it is and is not there.  If you want to compare, use your highest desire as a directional tool, not the lowest memory you can find.

Work, ahh, work.  We really do believe that we cannot possibly love all of our work… that there will be parts that we simply dislike and that just is the way it is.  If you say so.  I know that you can love what you do just like you can love the sunset or the sunrise.  You can enjoy the details, the big picture and your part in it completely.  We are so afraid of having high expectations that we don't get met… we create a world where we do not get what we want and then we wonder why we don't get what we want.  It is amazing really.  If you believe that there isn't a possibility to love what you do 100% then you are correct.

First, dream.  Where do you want to go?  What is your big daring feeling for your future?  Second, feel the accomplishment of the dream.  What would it feel like to be where you want to be?  Third, dream some more.

xo

a

You Want It You Got It

Hello there :) Are you afraid to get what you want?  Seriously?  Are you freaked out to actually see that what you want is possible?  If not then why aren't you asking for it without reservation?  If it isn't fear that is holding you back is it because you don't believe what you want exists?

Someone at some point wanted to fly.  They thought, I want to fly like those squirrels or those lizards that have winged arms.  I want to be able to jump off of a cliff and not die.  When they owned that dream the dream was then able to come to fruition.  Somewhere, someone wanted to talk to someone who couldn't hear…  someone wanted to dance that didn't have legs, someone wanted to read a book without having to carry the book with them and an e-reader was born.  It would seem, then, that what you dream can come true.  Not dreaming would seem to be a sure way to not get what you want.  Resisting a dream before you let it be born seems unproductive, in my opinion.

I always coach my clients to dream, just dream.  You like salt and tasting different salts, cool.  Wanna do that for a living?  You can.  You want to find a way to work bicoastally and work with people, ok, in what industry do you see yourself?  Until you throw it out there the universe cannot get going making it happen!  Everything is conspiring to support you!  Until you put yourself out there how do you know what you are capable of?  If you don't risk, if you don't jump you will never know what you are able to receive in return.  If you never try how will you ever fly?

Look, if your issue isn't fear (even if you think it isn't it probably is) and it isn't doubt maybe you just don't know (which is fear).  That is cool, no worries, you can not know for now.  Sit, be, and open yourself up to your dreams, without judgement, without filtering.  See what falls out of your heart.  You may find your destiny.  You may find yourself.

xo

a