Death

Some Thoughts on Death

Hello there, I believe that death is not unnatural.  I believe that it is the most natural thing that exists, right next to life.  People die just about every second.  People are birthed at a similar rate.  I don't know how helpful it is to tell everyone that death is unnatural or that for someone to die at one age or another is not "right."  It is as if life is a promise and not a gift or experience.  It is as if we still, after all of this time, don't get how fragile this human experience is.  We have this tendency to decide that life is only valuable after being lived a certain amount of time.  That if you haven't grown up, or had your own children, a job, sex, etc. that death shouldn't touch you.  Now, let me clarify for those who may be freaking the f*ck out.  I don't believe we need to kill one another regardless of how natural death is (and the same goes for killing animals).  I just don't believe death is unnatural and I believe that we could help the healing process for all involved in losing loved ones (that would be all of us at some point) if we changed the language around it.

When we are told that death is wrong and that a mother should never lose her child we set all the mothers who will lose their children (and that is a large number of people, babies and children die all the time!) to feel a hell of a lot worse than if we let them know that, yes, death can come to your baby because your baby is a human being and once that baby exists it can cease to exist.  If we stop looking at death as this horrible, horrible thing and look at it as a part of the process of life we may not feel like we were cheated out of something that we were never promised.  We may be able to feel a little less victimized by the death and be able to actually deal with the means by which (especially when a child has been murdered).

It is so maddening to me that we don't discuss death.  It is so damaging to all who will lose their children, that we haven't had the conversations prior so that there is space to talk about it, so that after the ones who will not see their children grow up don't feel so alone in their grief.  So they can discuss their experience of death openly and get support around it.  Death isn't contagious, it is promised.  Death isn't bad, it just is.  We all will go through it.  We all will lose someone.  We have to, at some point, stop behaving as though ignoring it will make it go away.  Talk about it and sex.  The two things that we either make naughty or wrong are the things that are often used to cause the most pain.  Think about it.  When we categorize things as bad they become those things for us.  When you change the way you see things the things you see change.  It is true.  We are powerful enough to stop being victims.

Now taking someone's life is a completely different discussion.  Why, how, when, what?  All of those things need to be dialogued about as well… I will say that it cracks me up (in a not so funny way) to see everyone so up in arms (pun intended) about violence in a country that was built on violence, that uses violence to solve all issues and perpetuates it every way that it can.  If we wanted peace we wouldn't support war.  If we wanted peace we would never flip someone off and curse them out.  If we wanted peace we would be peaceful.  Period.  Start with yourself.  Start with your own heart.  Start with how you treat yourself and see how that changes the world.

xo

a

Go!

Hey! What drives you wild?  What gets you excited, nervous, a bit afraid?  When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach?  How often do you step outside of your comfort zone?  How often do you try something that isn't a sure thing?

When we do more than we have previously, we often resist.  We resist the possibility of failure.  We also resist the possibility of success more often than we know.  You know you are doing more than you have before because you get nervous, you may feel anxiety, you might not be able to think about much else until you have done "it"  whatever "it" is.  Whatever is in your mind as the thing you are afraid to do must be done.

Jump, dive, run towards the things that make you feel.  We have become comfortably numb and most of us are not aware of this.  We have learned how to navigate the world based on what we know, not where we want to go.  Do we even know what we want, where we want to go, how to get there?  A great place to start is by asking ourselves what we are afraid of.  Maybe it is rejection.  Maybe it is love.  Maybe it is being organized.  Maybe it is looking incompetent.  Whatever it is may just be what you need to wake up, feel again and move forward.  Safe isn't living.  Safe is false, death, failure.  Safe is nowhere for a living breathing thing.  Life, in and of itself, is a risk.  When we decided to incarnate we decided to be risky.  To resist the gift of excitement, nervousness or feelings of anxiety/anticipation is to decide to stay exactly where you are and miss out on where you could be.

Go on, feel the nervousness, get the butterflies and feel the freak-outedness.  No excuses, no regrets.

xo

a

Letting Go To Grow

"The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."  ~Peter Drucker Howdy!

We hold on to things.  We hold onto feelings, people, places, jobs, experiences.  We take photos of food for goodness sake!  We don't seem to be able to let things go.  We believe that we can actually stop time, that we can stay in one place.   We make promises to never leave.  We sign contracts to always stay in place.  We believe we have control over growth.  Not so much.

Everything must change, nothing stays the same, the young become the old, mysteries do unfold (to quote one of my favorite songs).  At some point all the holding on will begin to feel burdensome and unhealthy.  At some point we won't want to wear the same jeans day in and day out.  Most of us are not there yet.  We live fearing the inevitable.  It is amazing to me how afraid of 'endings' we are… and beginnings for that matter.  Change is enough to send most people over the edge.  The most interesting part of this fear of change is how we handle it after the shock has worn off.  Most of us find that the grass is greener when all is said and done.  We realize, if we are being honest, that change is growth and growth means becoming more of who you are, learning more about the world, and ultimately evolution.  Staying in one place is akin to the death of the body or being inanimate.  When you don't move you die.

When you allow change to happen without the fear and the fuss you end suffering.  You are also better able to see where you weren't allowing for a blessing to enter until you made room.  Sometimes making room is letting go of what isn't serving you any longer.  That could be a relationship with a person, place or thing.  It could be a way of thinking or habits that you have acquired over the years.  Letting go of the stories we have retold time and time again allow for the greatest growth and the deepest change, which, in turn means you are opening yourself up for the biggest blessings and more life.

I take stock of my life consistently.  I end what doesn't work (though sometimes it takes me some time) and am always headed towards my dreams, my goals, my self.  I know that the more space I create the better able I am to fill it in the way that makes sense for where I am in that moment.  It is important to let go of the idea that where I am right now is where I will be… or that who I am right now is who I will be.  We are all, every single one of us, in progress.

xo

a

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly" ~Henri Bergson

Growth Is Evidence For Life

"Change always comes bearing gifts."  ~Price Pritchett Hi there!

I mentioned to a friend today that I have been noticing shifts happening in people all around me.  It seems that big life changes are being made, internally and externally.  Maybe it is 2012, who knows.  I simply see and feel people's growth happening at a seemingly accelerated pace and I am excited.

I feel strongly that now is the time to acknowledge areas in your life that you have ignored, denied or been fearful of facing.  See where that takes you.  What are some things you would like to see happen in your life and what would it take to make those things happen?  When change is in the air all you need to do is breathe (at first, then act).  I believe that we affect one another, that we are all connected.  When I change something about my life for the better I am able to help others do so simply by being an example.  When you see that something is possible for one you are better able to see it as a possibility for you as well.

Shifts are great because nothing can ever go back to the way it was.  Shifts are scary because of the same thing.  Often when you see yourself stuck or in a place that is static it is important to see how you are maintaining that position on purpose.  Change can be scary.  The unknown can bring up our fear of uncertainty.  However, it is even more scary, to me, to remain where I am with no forward movement to speak of.  I would consider that the ultimate death.  How is your fear of change making it impossible for you to reach your potential?  Do you have an idea of what your potential is?

Good luck with all of the changes in your internal world, I am sure you can feel it.  I know that when you are open to all that is in store the gifts pour in like a torrential rain.  I am always excited to hear about it too… so please share.

"The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions."  ~Ellen Glasgow

xo

a

Security

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller Happy Weekend! I am sitting in my living room watching a fantastic movie called 'Death of a Superhero' that is unbelievably fantastic. I will let you google and find out the details, but I highly recommend it. For anyone who will experience life or death the movie is a beautiful tribute to both. :) I found the movie after I sat down to write. I often don't know what I will write about until I sit down and am open to receiving inspiration from wherever it wants to come. Tonight it was in the form of this movie that ended up taking 100 minutes of my time (hence the late blog entry) and I am all the better for it.

Today the topic of death came up a few times in conversation. I honestly wish we spoke about death more. Death and sex: the two things that bookend life, yet we just don't want to discuss them. More on sex another time :) Back to life and death; I was thinking about how most of us are so caught up in being responsible and secure and so forth and so on that we refuse to live the life we want to. We want stability and security. The one thing I know for sure is the life is the thing that is the most insecure. We could go at any time! Seriously! Instead of encouraging each other to LIVE and celebrate this amazing gift and experience we put people in boxes and make them stare at screens all day to move things from here to there and there to here and give them two days to have fun, YAY! Really? Is this what we consider life… and if this is how our lives can be secure, is security something to strive for then? Security seems more like a way to stave off the fear we have of looking at the temporary state of all things.

Ok, ok, I can almost hear the questions about money and how does one support oneself??? "I hear you want us to "live" but how the heck will we do that if we are on the streets because we quit our jobs?!" I know, you "have" to work to make money to take care of the kids and the house and the dog and the cat and the blah and the blech." Let's go back to some other things we have 'talked' about, like the idea that you create your world. If you don't want to live a life that is all about "security" yet you would like to have all of the things you want to have (which by the way isn't about security at all, it is about having stuff so that you can use it while you are alive) then create that life! Seriously, get to work creating the life you actually want! Security won't matter when you are living your dream. Dreams are bigger and smarter than false senses of anything. True security comes when you embrace the fact that all things come and go, or rather, that there is no such thing as security.

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." ~John Allen Paulos

"Only the insecure strive for security." ~Wayne Dyer

Enjoy your moments! a